Americans, in average, watch 4.5 hours worth of television in one day. now thats insane.

I only watch that much tv during the summer when I lock myself in my room with the aircon on to 16 degrees Celsius while its bleeding hot outside. Last summer I could not stand Beijing's summer heat, so i stayed in my cozy room with layers of blankets and watched 3 seasons of "the L word" and "Heroes." best time of my life.

although i do understand how people feel when they are super high. all you want to do is stay home and watch a good fcking film. mr. mota likes to keep people home.

I realized that the only time i write in this blog is when i have homework to do or a final to study for (physiology quiz tomorrow!). i find excuses that will keep me from doing what i have to do.

BUTTTT whats keeping me going is the fact that i leave to beijing in a couple of days! i don't remember ever being this excited to go back. is it for my friends and family? or the idea of returning to a place called home as an adult-to-be? every time i come home i bring back a girl who has grown. i grow and grow...and grow to what? aren't i suppose to be an adult now? but what do i bring back this time? A part of me wants to bring back the old me. the "all i want to do is have some fun" me. i am returning with baggage left behind and a new face to put a smile on to all my loved ones! that is what is exciting me. tickles my heart.

i dont love many people. but to those i love i give too much. i give too much because im afraid i will lose them. how pathetic.

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Today was the last day of my ceramics class. i loved that class so much i wanted to cry. every student had a certain bond to the clay and to the people who have touched the clay. its as if the clay embedded it's soul into our hands and into our body and molded us into one.