golden, golden

2010-10-26T10:09:00.001-07:00

no song to sing

hometown glory

2008-10-12T01:49:00.000-07:00

moving back to beijing has brought back many old memories... to when life used to be stationary, or timeless, or steady.

im happy...

Leaving family and friends at the age of 15 for five years, i believe now is my time to relive the days I have missed out on.

I left because people come and go in Beijing, couldn't handle being the one left in this city, but thats the beauty of it, no?

So now I am here, ready to face new challenges.

i love this city too much to leave.

download "hometown glory" by Adele...

time is running out

2008-08-12T02:41:00.000-07:00

its funny how some people change when you are about to leave a place.

emotions are so real..

wow

2008-08-02T05:22:00.000-07:00

im staying in on a saturday night. I looked at my calendar and sadly realized that i only have 2 more weeks here...

im gonna have to wake up from this dream soon.

"every super woman needs a super man"

2008-07-29T05:37:00.000-07:00

too many great women out there and too little great men. My whole life I have only met 2 great men (not including family members). Only 2...

its so sick...

ps. claire, china blocked lj; cant read your post! :(

recent shows

2008-05-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

May 18:
Lykke Li's show was amazing. It was such a rush! i was so nervous to see her because shes amazing!

May 21:
M.I.A.. she is one of a kind. her performance went really well. One part i did not enjoy was when we had to wait for her to come out. the show started at 8, MIA played around 10:30 - 11? By the time she came out I was already drained from dancing to other peoples songs.
p.s. claire, we missed you.

2008-05-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

Americans, in average, watch 4.5 hours worth of television in one day. now thats insane.

I only watch that much tv during the summer when I lock myself in my room with the aircon on to 16 degrees Celsius while its bleeding hot outside. Last summer I could not stand Beijing's summer heat, so i stayed in my cozy room with layers of blankets and watched 3 seasons of "the L word" and "Heroes." best time of my life.

although i do understand how people feel when they are super high. all you want to do is stay home and watch a good fcking film. mr. mota likes to keep people home.

I realized that the only time i write in this blog is when i have homework to do or a final to study for (physiology quiz tomorrow!). i find excuses that will keep me from doing what i have to do.

BUTTTT whats keeping me going is the fact that i leave to beijing in a couple of days! i don't remember ever being this excited to go back. is it for my friends and family? or the idea of returning to a place called home as an adult-to-be? every time i come home i bring back a girl who has grown. i grow and grow...and grow to what? aren't i suppose to be an adult now? but what do i bring back this time? A part of me wants to bring back the old me. the "all i want to do is have some fun" me. i am returning with baggage left behind and a new face to put a smile on to all my loved ones! that is what is exciting me. tickles my heart.

i dont love many people. but to those i love i give too much. i give too much because im afraid i will lose them. how pathetic.

-----------------------------------------------------
Today was the last day of my ceramics class. i loved that class so much i wanted to cry. every student had a certain bond to the clay and to the people who have touched the clay. its as if the clay embedded it's soul into our hands and into our body and molded us into one.

new favourite artist no. 1

2008-05-14T01:40:00.000-07:00

LYKKE LI

i found this artist on V's facebook blog, boasting about how he got tickets to see her show.
i did not know what to say about his taste in music. i guess it was pretty good, though not quite good enough to track him down to steal his music playlists for earfood.

however, this time when i saw the name "lykke li" on V's page, i thought to myself, "now thats a distinct name." i felt as if i was destined to listen to what she has to offer to the world. and when i did, i fell in love.

so for the music lovers out there, PLEASE go on youtube and watch her videos (esp. the black cab sessions video). she is talent!

not enough hours in a day

2008-05-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

i don't really like complaining about the work i have to do. though in this case i have to complain because i have 5 papers due before i fly to the jing (which is in three weeks).
i want to bungee jump off the golden gate bridge to relieve some stress and forget homework for 2 minutes while floating in the air. how amazing would that be... like a drug but better.

Oh marijuana, how evil you could be. Sometimes i miss you, other times i don't. I miss you only when i need to relax, but these days even when im with you all i think about is work. work work work. in actuality i panic even more!

speaking of work, the mother found me a job at a five star hotel in Beijing. The pro's for working there over the summer is that it would fill in space for my resume. the con's is that i won't be able to see my lovely ladies as often as i wish. I would be working full-time at a hotel dealing with tourists. The experience sounds exciting, but im afraid i will find it dull after a month. ALSO, if i work, im afraid i won't get time off work to go to the philippines.

never did i imagine the day i would talk about working. It always seemed like a far away dream. Something that adults only do. I am actually considered an adult, but i don't feel like one. sometimes i feel like i pretend to be one; pay bills, be responsible, managing healthy foods. All of that "independence" vanishes once I see my papa or mother. I become a child again. I don't worry about anything. i miss the days when im laying sick in my bed waiting for the mother to put a damp towel on my forehead to cool down the fever. i miss being Dependant. its tiring to manage your day on your own. I felt caged when my parents had control over me. though i believe now that i have all the freedom in the world, it frightens me. I feel lost, even. the world is too big for me to breathe in. i need solidarity. friends may be there, but not forever. feelings die out.

In Kundera's book called "identity," he talks about relationships, but most importantly friendship (at least that is what stood out to me the most): "This is the real and only reason for friendship: to provide a mirror so the other person can contemplate his image from the past" (Kundera 10). I used to believe that family is the foundation or basis of our mutating beings, and friendship is the pillar to our minds. At times I disagree with Kundera's concept of friendship, for it justifies nothing. but at other times, like when i have conversations with friends, it is a mirror to our past. we try to bring back memories we spent together, building no solidarity with the present time.

To maintain good friendship is to grow together. no matter how old friends can be, it is very important to understand each other and simply grow with each others minds. our minds can get lost for a few days, a few months, even years. somehow strings from our minds detach and search for a different mind that can replace the old friend.

like a street, san li tun bar street, it used to be so familiar. acquaintances developed into life long friendships. but once the government torn down the bars,...

i cannot think straight! i dont make sense. i must finish my EMG lab before i continue this post.

ciao

musicaa

2007-04-24T15:35:00.001-07:00

the champ is here

asdf

2007-04-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Shi Guorui - De Young Museum
April 28 - Sept
How weird festival - Howard St
May 6th

2007-02-06T12:54:00.000-08:00

All the world is a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and entrances; Each man in his time plays many parts.

shakespeare

2007-02-04T21:51:00.001-08:00

paranoia

a new year has come

2007-01-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

microphone, on.

im back in my beautiful home from my trip to the OC.
it was good. met a lot of people.
as i was heading towards the airport, something inside me felt unwilling to leave.
i didnt know these people well, but i felt sad.
is it always going to be like this?
2 weeks of getting to know people already saddens my heart when i leave them.
imagine how it will be when i leave someone who actually love with all my heart...

floating upon the surface of this generation, i see nothing. i see nothing but a bunch of selfish souls. no more love but for the ones you choose to love. what happened to "one love"? break the silence... and feel. feel it. its there. you are just oblivious to what matters most. simple things, right? the simplest form of touch and sight is the basis and foundation of love... we build from that. delightful.

microphone, out.

10. Dickenson

2006-12-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

Heart, we will forget him
You and I, tonight.
You must forget the warmth
he gave, I will forget the light.

9. almost over

2006-12-10T10:46:00.000-08:00

it feels like just yesterday i was racing up the stairs during recess to get food from Riri. we were all so idiotic. i dont remember us doing much but sitting in the restaurant all day all night.
that was sweet.

First sem of college is almost over. time goes by too fast. ill be done in 3 1/2 years. MADNESS.
cant handle it..

8. i want...

2006-12-03T22:21:00.000-08:00

a puppy...

7. cheers

2006-11-28T18:56:00.000-08:00

tracing my indigenous scars
i feel it.

cheers for the scars to come
ill be waiting for you
be quick and subtle

6. Big day

2006-11-24T10:54:00.000-08:00

today's schedule:

1st/ Museum of Modern Art - term paper
2nd/ Telegraph Hill - wild parrots & HW
3rd/ Union square - the annual tree lighting
4th/ BRAZIL - European film @ the Clay Theatre

.

what actually happened...

1st/ Museum of Modern Art - 3 to 6 pm
2nd/ Snack @ Blondies for pizza
3rd/ played Chess on Market St.
4th/ Dinner at home.

ha ha

5. Tianji 101

2006-11-23T11:22:00.000-08:00

4. "blow"

2006-11-21T21:44:00.000-08:00

"May the wind always be at your back
and the sun upon your face,
and the winds of destiny carry you
aloft to dance with the stars..."

3. surrealism

2006-11-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

"At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can."
-Frida Kahlo

2. me

2006-11-19T22:01:00.000-08:00

no one is picking up their phone. at this point, i guess, the only thing i can turn to is this blog.
you are my bestfriend, blog. haha

lets talk about me.

i want to leave. i want to open my arms wide, inhale the breath of the ocean, and dive into her soul. i want to sing; sing like the angels are harmonizing with me. Dance; dance like no ones around. Cry: cry like the pain will never end. Pray; pray like everyone on this earth is dying. i want to live in the past or in the future. i dont want to be where i am now. i dont like the smell in the bus of Muni49. i dont like bullshit people. i like soup. i like food. i like photos. i want a pro camera. i want to go to cambodia. i want to see everyone. i miss everyone. why is everyone away from me. why am i writing this. why are we living...

im tired.

credits: chechb

i miss home.
someone take me home.

1. easy like sunday morning

2006-11-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

I have decided to join my dearest kemi on this blogspot, just to simply have another account to check on while I sit in front of my laptop wondering what else I should ambush.

I am home alone. Chuluunkhuu is in New Jersy, visiting her princeton boy.

These past few days of solitude, I have shunned myself from the world, and locked myself in this mexican-painted casa. Once Tianji and Nomi is gone, I realized, this is how my life would be in foggy San Francisco - bed undone, dishes unwashed, and homework awaiting for my intelligence to conquer. I have come up with many conclusions of what I will do to fill my time, and that is to work and save money to travel the world; my first stop will be Paramibo, Suriname, to visit the crazy-little-thing-that-moves-around, Sherlyn Ferrier. & I am determined.

I have 5 papers due after Thanksgiving, yet, I find myself searching for excuses to avoid lifting my pen... procrastination. how reluctant I am!

Life is interesting enough for us human beings to get out and appreciate. Life is not made for us bums to just sit at home and cry about the past or the future; therefore, I, ms. julia "butterfly" hill-wannabe, am gonna go out and get me some coffee. we'll see what goes on from there.

peace yo